kidding aside, I am often baffled by the use of the
proverbial "it" they are referring to. "It"
defines everything and yet nothing.
While "It "usually refers to some measure
of success or accomplishment, it's important that "it"
be clearly defined, and most importantly
defined by you.
this rarely happens.
of the time, we are in pursuit of an "it" defined by a
collective, societal view of success, not our own.
part of this collective view of success is that we are
at the mercy of others deeming whether or not we can
have "it". As a result, I often hear
people use the proverbial "they"... especially when "it"
isn't happening. Generally, "they"
are the ones accused of blocking their way, the ones
keeping them from accomplishing "it".
"They" could be a spouse, a boss, a company, a
customer or even a parent.
was a point in my career when I stalled out.
I didn't get an important promotion and as a
result I felt like I had taken a huge step
backwards. I felt this way because,
in the definition of success I was pursuing, the only
way to move forward and to be of any value is to get
that next promotion. So, at that point, there were many "they" that I was blaming.
I hit that roadblock along my climb, I didn't recede; I
just continued to push harder and harder
the persistent push works and you make it up the next
rung and then the next. But sometimes it doesn't. And you try again and again and yet again, growing more
resentful with each push that results with no
fact, you can become so blinded at this moment that you
can only see that next rung on the ladder in front of
you. You can't even see that this ladder is no
longer taking you to where you want to be. And so you
hold onto each step as if it is the only one left; as if
there are no other steps possible.
of my coaching clients that have come to work with me
often have "get promoted" as their top
objective. Over time, some learn
that this objective is not really what they seek; it is
just the only result they know because they are so
gripped with fear for stepping outside of that common
definition of success.
see, our fear keeps us pursuing this common
definition of success and makes us believe that someone
can actually knock you down from that ladder and take
those steps away from you forever.
one can knock you off that ladder. No one can take
away those steps you have laid so carefully before you
to get you to where you are today.
steps you have accomplished are yours to keep.
They are yours to take with you and
to build new steps upon them, to create a new
ladder that takes you to your newly defined "it",
your definition of success.
guess what? In your newly created
definition for success, there is no one else to blame,
no one else standing in your way, except
you create your own definition of success you relinquish
the blame you place on others because you have taken the
first step of accountability towards creating your
success by defining it.
rarely take the opportunity to ask these
the definition of success you are pursuing
your definition of success need to be redefined?
be climbing a different ladder to get there?
- Can you
make a bigger ripple, a bigger impact with an entirely
me the answer was a resounding "Yes."
what about you, what's your definition of success and is
the ladder you are on taking you there?
changes can make BIG differences, join the Texas Women
who Rock on May 6 and find out more about The