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Be Accountable....and make those resolutions get you where you want to be

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2008 Leadership Workshop
December, 2007

     2007 is almost behind us.  It is that time of year when you reflect on the year gone by and look forward to a new year filled with promises.  It is also when you start to think about making resolutions and identifying the changes you want to see in your life.
     You might want to lose weight, find the love of your life, excercise more or get out of a dead-end job.  Regardless of the resolution, I don't want you to be amongst the 95% that make resolutions with great intentions, but abandom them shortly after the month of January passes. 
     How can you be in that 5%, and keep your resolution?
     Read on to find out.   Happy New You!
Be accountable...
and make those resolutions get you where you want to be.   back page
     When you make a resolution, you usually sign up for some behavior change.  If you want to lose weight, you start a diet.  If you want to excercise more, you join a gym.  If you want to meet the love of your life, you join an online dating service. 
     But 95% of you abandon these behaviors relatively quickly, after an average of 4 weeks, you are back to your "old" ways. You are a creature of habit.  And habits die hard. 
    I believe that it takes more than just commitment to make a long-term behavior change, it requires a mind set change first.  Behaviors follow thoughts.  You can't alter behavior and expect it to be a new habit without first changing your thoughts.  Action without a change in thought is not sustainable.  This is why my tag line for my business  is "Changing Vantage Ponts to Create Advantage."  I like to help people and companies see things differently, so that they can realize sustainable change. 
     You can only create advantage for yourself by first changing your vantage point or mind set
     But how?   The first and most essential step of shiftng your mind set is taking personal accountability for where you are today.   You need to see your contribution to the problem.  What ever it is you wish and hope for in 2008 can and will be yours if you first take personal accountability for the fact that no one else is to blame where you are, except yourself.
     This might anger some of you, but you are single because you choose to be.  You are over weight because you choose to be.  You are in a dead-end job because you want to be.  This is what I mean by taking personal accountability.  You must see that you make lots of little choices that lead you exactly to where you are today.
     It is not easy to blame ourselves, or to see that we actually have a hand in creating and sustaining our own misery.   However, it is only when we fully take responsibility, that real growth and change can happen. 
     I was single and miserable for many years.   I was also unhappy in several dead-end and unfulfilling jobs for many years.  I got tired of hearing myself complain, as I am sure that many of my friends and family did too.  I rationalized my unhappy situations in many ways:  "There just aren't any good guys out there, who needs a man anyway."  "There still are going to be things I don't like in another job, I get paid well, so why leave and go elsewhere."  A conversation with my brother-in-law jolted me to change my vantage point.  
     He said to me, "Laura, despite what I hear you saying about your unhappiness, it appears to me that all of your actions tell me that you want your life exactly the way it is." What he told me in a nice way is "you are single because you choose to be and you are in that job because you want to be." 
     I realized that sometimes you resist change because even if you are unhappy, it is less threatening to stay put in your misery than to own up that you have caused yourself to be where you you blame others or you blame circumstances. 
     Thanks to that conversation, I looked deep inside to see that I had been making choices to support exactly where I was.  He was right.  I made a resolution to myself that things would change...that I would change.
     Things started to change for me when I really saw myself as the root of the problem.  That is when real behavior change happened and it was sustainable.  It had been so easy to complain and blame...while standing still.  It was much more difficult to be accountable and to make the changes I needed for my life. 
    Fortunately for me, my life has continued to evolve and grow in those areas where I was once "stuck".   
   That is why I don't believe in behavioral resolutions.  I believe that the only resolutions that matter are those that start with being personally accountable for where you are.  See yourself at the root of the problem and real change can happen.
   Resolutions can be life-changing and sustainable.  Or they can be an annual traditions that just keep coming around year after year, never to materialize. 
    Which one will it be for you?  It's your choice. 
     Go to to post a question that I will answer via email and during my weekly teleseminars.
      Join Laura Lopez for a Leadership workshop January  19, 2007.  Click below for more details and to register:

     Laura's book "The Connected and Committed Leader" is now available!

     Click here to order your copy: 

     Laura Lopez speaks to companies and business associations about Change, Leadership and Branding.  Go to for more information on how to bring Laura in to speak at your next meeting or conference.

All the best,
Laura Lopez
Laura Lopez & Company
(713) 864-4633
toll free outside of Texas 1-800-861-4633