After
all, that is why reality shows are so popular
today.
Because
for 30 minutes, you can get a sneak peek into someone
else's myopic reality!
Watching
this human self-absorption can be incredibly scary,
amusing and entertaining all at the same time. But,
while we are laughing at them, it's hard to see how
myopic we can also be with our own lives.
Without
even realizing it, we lose perspective and become overly
self-absorbed into our own reality; just like those on
TV. Except we have a different script. Our
script.
My
script used to look something like this:
·
I was
playing the role of a high-powered executive at a major
Fortune 100 company. I thought that the role
required me to be singly focused in order to perform
optimally. So over time, I gave up all else.
·
I
travelled every week and had little time or concern for
people that weren't moving as fast as I was. I ran at
6:15 every morning regardless of which city I woke up
in. I had mostly condiments in my refrigerator and
ate out for most meals. I often worked till 7 pm
or later. When I got home late, cold cereal was
often my dinner. I only connected with
friends and family via my cell to and from airports in
the early mornings or on weekends. Conversations
with them often focused on my exhaustion. I missed
so many social engagements that people eventually
stopped inviting me to attend. Work was my only
focus.
·
Then one
morning after I turned 40, I realized that I had
nothing, despite a healthy salary.
I am
sure there is a TV reality show waiting to be made on
this script, or a movie ...oh wait...the movie has
already been filmed, it's called "Up in the air."
You see, I was George Clooney with pumps.
Like me,
George had lost perspective.
While
I had reached a high level of success, ironically my
single focus, myopic reality and my loss of perspective
eventually worked against me.
Unfortunately,
like many others, you may still believe that in order to
be "at the top" you have to sacrifice all else.
But, you
are wrong.
You see, when you
sacrifice all else, you not only short change yourself
and any semblance of having a life but you also short
change your work, and the value that you bring to your
work.
Leaders
must have perspective. And you can't have
perspective if you have don't have any
balance.
Work
is more productive, more creative, more engaging for
you, those around you and for your company, when you
have perspective.
Being so
out of balance didn't serve me, my work in Marketing, or
my company over time. I clearly didn't have, nor
couldn't develop, any perspective for the key consumer
of my product who was a suburban mom who frequented
grocery stores and was shuttling kids back and forth
from activities. She was someone who lived a life that
looked quite different than my own. I didn't have
to be her, but I did have to have perspective in order
to understand her so that I could market to her more
effectively.
I also
didn't have, nor didn't develop, any perspective for my
team members and colleagues whose realities were also
different than my own. While I was actually the
anomaly, my behaviors didn't recognize this fact.
Because of this, I wasn't able to connect and lead them
effectively.
I had lost all perspective.
When
you find that you are so singly focused on something and
all else around you is either completely
out-of-focus or non-existent, recognize that it's time
to regain perspective.
Try
these steps:
Stop
and reflect.
Moving
from one activity to another without reflection is an
indication that you are operating without
perspective. Stopping
helps you to reflect in order to prioritize and make
conscious choices.
Step
back or Step aside.
Simply
by backing up or looking at things from a different
angle allows you to frame a situation in a new
way. The action alone can give you
perspective. It may bring to question your
previous approach and open up your curiosity to find a
better way.
Ask
yourself why? But
don't allow "have to" be your answer. At the
root of losing perspective is that we begin to operate
under some preconceived belief that we have no choice
but to behave or do things a certain way. Don't
buy it. Don't do things because you feel you "have
to" or "should". By asking yourself "why?" and making
conscious choices about your actions you can regain
perspective.
Firm
up your boundaries.
Get
clear on how you want to work; identify where
you are going to spend less time and what's
going to take second position. This can be
a weekly process that can
adjust and change as you see fit.
Having
perspective benefits you, your work and the people
around you. Don't buy into the idea
that you have to lose balance, and in the process lose
perspective, in order to make it to the
top.
In fact,
the top is the last place you want to be
without perspective!
Subtle
changes can make BIG differences, join the Texas Women
who Rock on May 6 and find out more about The
TWEAKING Experiment!